On weekends I could be found "a'courtin" up the country. Going up-the-country meant that I had to traverse the road to Defeated, TN via a narrow, winding, ascending, descending, creek-bottom, mountain-top, barely two-lane road! The road to Defeated passed such place-names as, Turkey Creek, Tater Hill, Devil’s Elbow (both elbows actually), and Hog Town. Outside Carthage just beyond the present turn-off to the Cordell Hull Dam site there is a place along Turkey Creek where a few hardy souls homesteaded many years ago. Some of their decedents never managed to leave.
On a fine spring afternoon I was making my usual trek along that stretch of road when I came upon a black '47 Chevy stopped in the road at a house along the way. The road was narrow with a creek on the left side and a steep hill on the other. A small frame house perched above a set of stone stairs on the hill. The walkway began at the roadside with a large flat stone bridging the narrow ditch.
As I approached in my '55 Chevy I noticed that an elderly gentleman was getting out of the car ahead. Evidently the driver thought I was in a hurry and pulled away from the departing passenger as he attempted to "slam" the door. The old man's heels were off the side of the stone footbridge, and his arms were frantically flailing the air in an attempt to regain his balance! But it was not to be.
The old gentleman plopped backwards into the ditch that was just deep enough to hide him forever had I not seen him. He was hopelessly trapped with his arms crossed in front making them useless. He was a pitiful sight, and I recognized his dire circumstance!
I stopped the car and got out to help. It took considerable pulling to free the old gentleman from his confinement, and when he finally came loose I noticed a terrible odor! It was a long time ago, but I recall his words, he groaned saying, “Lord-have-mercy, I took a dose of Black Draught this morning,' and I think I'm in a mess!” He may have been an old man with lousy balance and an uncooperative bowel, but he sure knew a mess when he had one in his overalls!
I got him started up the stone steps and noticed that he had managed to crap all the way down both overall pant-legs and into both shoes! He was definitely in a mess. Well, at least he was no longer confined to the ditch with no bones broken, and he was at home. Things could have been worse.
You know, bad things happen to good people, and two hundred years from that day no one will know what happened. If it had been me I’d have ditched the shoes and overalls and just sat in the creek for a while!
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